8 THINGS ABOUT 2011 THAT SCARE ME IN FILMS

So I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with a Halloween post, and since I’ve never really participated in the whole Halloween thing I’ve only had movies to remind me what this day means (or at least what it means to Americans, i.e. sex, parties, drinking, candy and women dressing up as sluts for everyone’s enjoyment).

However, the one thing about films and Halloween is that it always wants to scare you. So since that never works in the theatre I’m going to just list off 8 things about movies this year (so far) that I’ve noticed that scares me just a little bit:

8. Winnie the Pooh still got me to love him after all these years

I’m not sure about all of you guys but I loved Winnie the Pooh as a child. It was the one show I can remember sitting in my mother’s bed as a young child watching with her every morning and I can just imagine how much it annoyed her. There are so many instances of childhood loves coming back to haunt me and proving that I was so wrong as a child, however with this animated film I found myself still completely engrossed by it all. I wonder if there’s a way to avoid worrying about my age at this point.

Or maybe I just need to admit to myself that I am a child and enjoy the experience rather than be frightened by it.

7. Kevin Smith’s Redemption While Still Being a Prick (Red State)

I kind of loved Red State, the latest Kevin Smith film. I’m not quite sure if it’s top ten of 2011 material yet, but before we get that far this movie has a whole lot of great things about it. Oddly enough, one of those great things is Kevin Smith‘s direction. Who knew that this lazy ass director could finally make something look interesting more than just make me laugh at the odd quirky sexual reference.

6. Contagion (OMG I need to wash my hands)

I guess my Soderbergh love is starting to show on this site, and I hope y’all will say it’s for good reason (as you should), but it’s deserved. His latest film, Contagion, is probably the most affected I’ve been by a movie since… I can’t remember. One thing I do always believe in films is when it can somehow alter the way you view the world, if even for an hour or two, then it’s more than exceeded anything it could ever hope to accomplish. I literrally left the theatre with hands deep in pockets avoiding contact with any other human being. I’m usually the guy helping hold the door, letting people through, even on occasion lifting up someone from the ground if they fall near me. However, this day  I wasn’t having any of it, that door was going to smack some unassuming little glaucoma induced old lady in the face and I didn’t care.

5. They Might Just Keep making Green Lantern & Pirates Films

Based on reviews I guess I’m not alone, but “what the hell man!” I guess I was a little soft on the Pirates movie this year (review) but the Green Lantern down right sucked and I challenge anyone to defend it. The fact that Hollywood has started to invest so much money in certain franchises that they’ve now reached the point where they can’t even admit fault and give up on the films saddens me. Yes, Pirates made money, but Green Lantern didn’t and it’s not that this franchise will ever really break out of it’s funk in the box office so why keep trying. Jack Sparrow, if the franchise continues, I promise will haunt Johnny Depp for the rest of his career. He’s going to have to stop being weird on camera for a while to remove the role from himself.

4. Reitman vs. Guy Who Loves 80s films like Reitman’s films (No Strings Attached vs. Friends With Benefits)

Ivan Reitman is a classic filmmaker. Will Gluck has made 3 films (Fired Up, Easy A, Friends with Benefits). Gluck, and whoever picks his scripts for him, has made it known his love for films from the 80s, which happens to include Ivan Reitman‘s films (Stripes, Ghostbusters, Twins), and somehow the two of them (veteran and rookie) ended up facing off in the same exact genre and plot and rating and the student has pretty much become the teacher. I think that’s a sign that Reitman need to retire and just let his son (Jason Reitman) do all the breadwinning for the family from now on with occasional cameos of his father.

3. Nickelodean > Pixar (Rango vs. Cars 2)

Who knew that Pixar would eventually break their untouched record and make a complete dud. I’ve said some mean things about Cars but it’s a masterpiece in comparison to it’s sequel that was released this summer. It’s amazing how gorgeous Rango looks in comparison to Cars 2 as well. The film is a triumph of comedy and genre love to westerns while Cars 2 is just a mockery of pop culture that will eventually fade away into the forgetton crappy films that we never talk about.

2. The Gosling Effect (Crazy Stupid Love, Drive & Assumed: The Ides of March)

OK. So I haven’t seen The Ides of March yet, but based on reviews (and that Gosling is in it) I’m going to go on a hunch that it’s great. Which is what scares me. Gosling (after the critical success of last year’s Blue Valentine) has three amazing Oscar & Golden Globe possible acting nomination worthy films this year which is down right scary. Part of me wants to believe that this will be equalled out by some ridiculous fart humour comedy next year co-starring Jack Black but I doubt it. Is it possible for Gosling to suck?

1. Woody Allen > Terrence Malick (Midnight in Paris vs. The Tree of Life)

So first off… remember I’m a child of the 80s and still in his younger years. I didn’t grow up with Annie Hall and Manhattan Woody Allen, but rather Small Time Crooks Woody Allen. So to have him make a better movie than Terrence Malick in a year just seems astonishing to me. I know that Malick‘s film is more ambitious, but just general story-telling and execution Allen wins this round.

I know, I know, this isn’t a competition. But it is and this scares me.

What so far this year scared you about movies?

Andrew Robinson

This is my blog. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My blog is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my blog is useless. Without my blog, I am useless. I must fire my blog true. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my blog and myself are defenders of my mind, we are the masters of our enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.

    • Andrew Robinson

      Sadly that doesn't scare me because after 2 sequels I'm pretty numb to the idea of more… even more numb to the idea of Statham making his career an even bigger action cash in. I wonder when we can start to look back at Statham the way that we look at Schwarzennager (sp) now.

  1. George Bell

    Haha, I like your praise of Red State while shitting all over Kevin Smith. That was pretty funny.

    The only movie coming to mind that affected me in a sort of similar way that Contagion did to you was Mulholland Drive. I felt uneasy in my own skin, and I don't know why. I still don't know if I like that movie.

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