THE TOP TEN DISAPPOINTMENTS OF 2008

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So here I am trying to get out my last couple Top 10 lists related to wrapping up 2008. So I loved 2008 for so many reasons. I decided to start my own blog/website and as far as I’m concerned it isn’t the biggest success but at the same time the fact that I do have a few dedicated readers and I feel like it allows me to express my enthusiastic love for movies which is something I love to do. However, as we all know not all movies can be of The Dark Knight’s standard, even though they promise that with amazing marketing and trick you into spending your hard earned cash at the theatre or at the rental or store, or even just your free time. Here is where I will vent my hatred on those movies which fooled me into thinking they would be awesome and decided that that was enough work for that week.

TEN – Max Payne

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Now some people may dispute me calling this a disappointment, but whatever you think I believed this would at least be a marginally fun action movie. Now how surprised was I when I ended up sitting through a 100 minute movie that would have absolutely no redeeming features. After watching the atrocity that was The Happening this movie made me remember that Mark Wahlberg really is an older version of Marky Mark, and until he does something that amazes me as much as his performance in The Departed he will not be referred to in any other way. Here as my worst movie of the year, and most disappointing is Max Payne.

NINE – Paranoid Park

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Here is the Gus Van Sant movie that every film critic was drooling over all year round. When it finally came out on DVD I decided to go see it be saddened by its bland sense of average. As I said in my review, I’m not sure if it is that I just never got it, but I sure didn’t like it as much as all of these critics and that is why it had to get a mention as a disappointment of 2008.

EIGHT – Quantum of Solace

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The sequel to the highly successful James Bond reboot, Casino Royale, suffered the problem of putting the story on the backburner and having some poorly edited/shot action sequences which basically meant that I lost all sense of enjoyment. Daniel Craig still kicked ass, I just didn’t feel like it made much sense, and even though you may say that can still be good it just wasn’t what I wanted from this movie. Especially after the amazing story/action movie that was Casino Royale.

SEVEN – The Foot Fist Way

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This is one of the last movies I watched in 2008. Its trailer showed us some what seemed to be some ridiculous character comedy about a Taekwondo instructor. After watching Danny McBride succeed in Tropic Thunder and Pineapple Express I couldn’t help but be excited for this movie. However, after the first thirty minutes I found myself wanting to take a nap of shut off the movie. But I stayed the course and finished the movie realizing that I didn’t enjoy one moment of the movie.

SIX – The Promotion

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Here comes a comedy where two assistant managers fight for the new manager position for a new store opening for their grocery company. John C. Reilly and Sean William Scott are two of my favourite comedic actors right now [once we forget about all the Judd Apatow & Kevin Smith crew] and once again, as will all of the movies listed here, it hurt me to find out how average this movie really is. A lot of the jokes just didn’t get me, and I hate to say how plain John C. Reilly ended up being in this movie.

FIVE – Be Kind, Rewind

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Michel Gondry is one of my favourite directors ever, after watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and The Science of Sleep this guy could do wrong by me. I hear he’s doing a movie with Jack Black and Mos Def about two guy who run a video store which rents low-budget versions of the real things using Gondry wild imagination to recreate them; I’m so sold. Even though I do think a lot of those scenes where they are filming the movies are fun, I can’t help but think how much a step back this is for Gondry. It felt like too much that Gondry was trying to implant his style of filmmaking that is so unique into a regular formulaic Hollywood movie.

FOUR – Zack & Miri Make a Porno

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Kevin Smith, another one of my favourite comedic directors, returns with his new romantic comedy which is about two best friends who decide to save their financial worries by making a porno. Kevin Smith really tried to step outside of his bounds here and make a movie that didn’t speak directly to his normal comedy fan base or have all of his usual crew [only a few of them]. Even though there are a few scenes which kept the Smith style of dialogue and banter, overall it felt like he was trying to cash in on the Judd Apatow explosion by casting Seth Rogen and then every scene Rogen was in felt more a more Rogen-esque more than a scripted K. Smith screenplay. I’m just happy I got that scene between Brandon Routh and Justin Long, hands down best scene in the movie.

THREE – Hancock

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Will Smith’s financially successful blockbuster of the summer was such an epic disappointment for me. After seeing the trailer for the movie and asking myself, “How awesome would a homeless superhero be?” I was going to be first in line to see this movie. Now personally after hearing about all the studio problems that went on with this movie it is entirely possible that the UNRATED DVD could be good, and if not that there is a version of this movie which will deliver on that promised tone that was shown to us in the first third of the final theatrical cut, but when the movie became romantic and a certain reveal was made this movie just kept nose diving. And it sucks that the better Will Smith movie of 2008 – Seven Pounds – was the one that didn’t make it financially.


TWO – Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

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Here is a character from my childhood that was just amazing, Indiana Jones [aka. Junior]. Steven Spielberg took George Lucas’ idea and made it iconic. With Spielberg’s style of directing and the great physicality of the movie with all the practical effects and sense of fun danger at every turn while at the same time making history interesting, he made the original trilogy classic. Twenty years late the character returns, now many may argue about how much of chance they had at recapturing the magic that was the original trilogy today but I still thought Spielberg could pull it off. However, with Lucas’ story being completely ridiculous and many unbelievable sequences like the fridge saving Indy from a nuclear explosion I have to rank this as one of my biggest disappointments of the past year.

ONE – Hamlet 2

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Steve Coogan plays a theatre teacher at a high school; after being threatened with the department being closed he gets some inspiration and writes the sequel to one of the best pieces of literature ever – Hamlet 2. Now personally the only part of this movie that was really funny was the last twenty minutes when we got to see the actual play, the previous hour plus just kept me hating it more and more. This movie made me feel like “I’ve been raped in the face” and that is never a good thing.

And I’ll end this off with a few honourable mentions for the list; Drillbit Taylor, Body of Lies and Eagle Eye.

Andrew Robinson

This is my blog. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My blog is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my blog is useless. Without my blog, I am useless. I must fire my blog true. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my blog and myself are defenders of my mind, we are the masters of our enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.

  1. Shannon the Movie Mo

    I agree with you on quite a few of these! I continue to be surprized at the praise for Paranoid Park (I keep coming back to Gus van Sant but the last film he did I loved was Gerry. Haven't seen Milk yet).

    Totally agree with Hamlet 2, I thought this was going to be hilarious and it just wasn't. The show was the best thing, although I did think it made and interesting dig to the formula of inspiration teacher films, although those as sport films, get me every time.

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