This week I’ll be seeing Precious, which seems to be sporting some bad parenting tips for the younger generation to pick up on and I decided to list what seems to be some bad parents that I’ve noticed over the years that have been put on the big screen for us to enjoy.

TEN – Harry Wormwood (Matilda)

How could a movie made for children have such horrible people in it?  Harry Wormwood (Danny DeVito) is one of those fathers that makes you know that people can be evil in life and Matilda makes you happy that movies always seem to come with a happy ending promised to us all.

NINE – Steve Zissou (The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou)

How could Steve Zissou (Bill Murray) be a bad father?  Well when he finds out that the funding for his documentary to go find the shark that killed his best friend is gone.  So he decides to accept his (maybe) son that he just met because he has money and will be able to fund the film.  Now if that isn’t setting a bad example very late in the game then what is?

EIGHT – Col. Frank Fitts (American Beauty)

Frank Fitts (Chris Cooper) is Lester Burnham’s (Kevin Spacey) neighbour who is so unapproving of everything that’s changing about the neighbourhood.  When, eventually, he finds out about his son’s marijuana business he goes overboard and becomes more than just a bad father but a horrible dad that you hope gets run over by a bus one day.

SEVEN – Gideon Largeman (Garden State)

Gideon Largeman (Ian Holm), after his wife has an accident, has been unnecessarily medicating his son, Andrew (Zach Braff), and also blaming him for the accident which was a complete innocent act by a child.  He wins the shit daddy award for continually being a miserable old crap with no common sense and since he’s a doctor I hope he would know better than to do what he’s doing to himself and his son.

SIX – Darth Vader (Star Wars Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back)

So imagine after all the crap you’ve made for your son’s life after leaving him to be with the dark side.  When the son comes back to do battle you go and chop off his hand and let him know that you (the evilest being in the entire galaxy) is his father.

FIVE – Mallory’s Dad (Natural Born Killers)

Here is a one of those few instances where the character, Mallory’s Dad (Rodney Dangerfield),  is shown to us in this weird scenario where it is made obvious that he is abusing his children and his wife but they decide to put it all to a laugh track to make sure that we are all as uncomfortable as possible watching it.

FOUR – Gertrude Baniszewski (An American Crime)

Here is one of those worst stories ever, and the story is about horrible child abuse which comes in every type and flavour.  After Gertrude (Catherine Keener) finds out that Sylvia (Ellen Page) has been saying things about her children she begins to punish her, and these punishments may not be that graphic on screen but it definitely doesn’t help that I have an imagination and consistently filled in the blanks.

THREE – Lady Tremaine (Cinderella)

Your step-mother, Lady Tremaine (Eleanor Audley), has made you into the house’s slave after the death of your father.  Even after your charming prince comes to find you she attempts to hide you away from him and push her own daughters onto the prince hoping he’ll forget all about Cinderella.

TWO – Daniel Plainview (There Will Be Blood)

The movie begins with Mr. Plainview (Daniel Day Lewis) doing a good thing (i.e. taking in the child that is not his and raises him, educates him, etc.) and then eventually chucks him off to some boarding school the moment he isn’t of any use to him getting land for his business.  Which makes him a shitty dad award.  We’ll always remember this scene.

ONE – Jack Torrance (The Shining)

“Here’s Johnny!!!!” Here comes the great film of The Shining where Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) and his family head up to house sit this luxury hotel while it’s shut down for the off-season.  While there Jack goes insane and eventually murders his entire family and that is why he wins the shit parent of the millennium award from me.