Harry Brown (Michael Caine) is a former Marine.  He, as well as many others in the neighbourhood, has had to put up with the shenanigans of a set of young hoods that terrorize their living area and sell drugs.  After the death of his best friend, Leonard (David Bradley), Harry has decided he’s had enough and has to teach these children a lesson.  He goes on a hunt for the man that murdered his friend the only way that he knows will work, without the police.

What Daniel Barber has done is he’s created a mediocre revenge film that’s elevated to an interesting one with the injection of a great leading actor.  Michael Caine has been acting since the 1950s and from then to now he’s always known how to make his presence be known.  He was Carter in the original Get Carter in 1971, he’s been in the business long enough to be reprising roles and cameoing in remakes of films that he was in the original of.  I say all this for you to understand that Caine isn’t just any regular actor that will only play butlers and mentors, he is a man that actually knows his art and he knows especially how to kick ass.  Now I’m not claiming that this is the next Taken – because it isn’t – but it definitely is a capable revenge film.

Now do I buy the idea of an eighty year old man managing to enact revenge on a gang of 20-something year olds?  Nope not really.  Gary Young definitely did a good job of trying to make this grandfather character believably be menacing.  He set up the background of our character, being an ex-Marine and all.  He even went and made the scenarios that he found himself in perfectly doable for a man of Caine’s physical abilities.  It even goes so far as to later in the film when Harry goes after the children of his neighbourhood you see him struggle and even suffer some physical consequences of his attempt to harm them.  However, in the end the film finds itself in relatively laughable territory.

I find myself sitting here and typing this review trying to think of other elderly action heroes and immediately what comes to mind is the film that was released two years ago, Gran Torino.  Gran Torino was this movie all over again, except it was staring Clint Eastwood.  Now why did I buy Clint when I refuse to buy Caine?  I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’ve never been able to not be afraid of Eastwood while Caine for the last decade has been the lovable grandfather character on screen.

In the end the movie is better than average, but never lets you think that it’ll be anything better than that.  What the movie has against it is the believability factor and that no matter how good a performance Caine delivers that when all is said and done that the movie is utterly forgettable.

IMDB says 7.4/10

Rotten Tomatoes says 67%

I say 6.5/10

This week, with Damion having deserted us, Douglas and I attempt to build up a new colony in the Americas while we review The New World:

Show Notes

What We Watched
Douglas (00:05:55): Date Night, Burn Notice
Andrew (00:12:48): Cemetery Junction, The Good The Bad The Weird, Blue Velvet, Cobb

Review (00:28:20): The New World (2005)

Discuss (00:44:39): Classics we Haven’t Seen & Entourage Season 7 Discussion

This week I once again must remind myself that movies in Jamaica sucks and since Scott Pilgrim isn’t coming out this is what I have to put up with:

Takers

Directed by: John Luessenhop

Written by: Peter Allen, Gabriel Casseus & John Luessenhop

Starring: Paul Walker, Chris Brown, Hayden Christensen, Matt Dillon, Michael Ealy, Idris Elba, Steve Harris, T. I. & Zoe Saldana

Synopsis: A seasoned team of bank robbers, including Gordon Jennings (Idris Elba), John Rahway (Paul Walker), A.J. (Hayden Christensen), and brothers Jake (Michael Ealy) and Jesse Attica (Chris Brown) successfully complete their latest heist and lead a life of luxury while planning their next job. When Ghost (Tip T.I. Harris), a former member of their team, is released from prison he convinces the group to strike an armored car carrying $20 million. As the “takers” carefully plot out their strategy and draw nearer to exacting the grand heist, a reckless police officer (Matt Dillon) inches closer to apprehending the criminals.

Trailer:

My Thoughts? I think this crappy poster says it all.  It’s a film that the studio greenlit because they have enough names on the poster that they think most people will be stupid enough to see it.  It looks like a horrible heist film and I’m not having any of it.  Also; am I the only one who thinks that Idris Elba‘s UK (yes I know he’s actually British) accent always seems weird? I mean I just got so used to his great accent from his role in The Wire which he uses anytime he’s cast as an American in films, that now to hear him speak in his natural accent just feel wrong.

So a while back I used to do this weekly post called Guess the Movie.  What I do is that I post a screenshot from a film and you, the reader, have to guess what movie it comes from.  There’s no prize or anything other than bragging rights and knowing that you have successfully out-nerded everyone else.  Each week I’ll post not only a new screenshot but a link back to the winner of the previous week’s challenge.

Last time I posted this challenge was over a year ago, yes I’m resurrecting this feature.  Back then the image I posted was from The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Let’s see how long it takes for you all to guess the movie the the screenshot below is from:

If you have any screenshots that you want to send me, whether it be as a suggestion or to challenge me, send them to andrew.robinson@gmanreviews.com.

Here’s a movie that I must admit goes beyond anything I ever expected in the realm of science-fiction (and not in a good way).  David Lynch is well known – as I’ve discovered in the last few weeks – for his overly stylized weirdness.  This time going into the one genre of filmmaking which requires an immense imagination he not only falls into the realm of over aloof-ness but he just misses the point of making a movie.

The point of making a film isn’t to make something that is so high brow that only you and the three special children in the theatre will think that they get it.  The point is to take the art of visual, narrative and sound a put together something that will affect me and it’s impossible to affect me if I don’t get it.

I know that I’m leaving myself open for all the stupid comments that will come about how it’s so simple.  I was with this movie for the first hour.  It set itself up like a hybrid of some RPGs and RTS games that I know of.  The film begins with trying to explain the politics of the need to control the spice which is mined from these other planets and I know that this can be taken as some metaphor for a lot of the exploitation of nations across the world for their natural resources (i.e. diamonds in Africa and oil in the Middle East).  Unfortunately, it just felt so over my (and most other’s) head that it was a waste.

I was even slightly bothered by how he introduced me to this interesting/cool action fighting system in this futuristic world when we meet the character of Gurney (Patrick Stewart) but we never really get to see much of it through the film.  Even though the final fight scene between Feyd (Sting) and Paul (Kyle MacLachlan) was pretty nicely done.

The movie just felt like it had something special and Lynch decided to hide everything that’s special about it in a plethora of overly un-understandable imagery and a clunky plot.  I never seemed to understand as to why each character was doing what they did.  I could make an intelligent guess, but films aren’t supposed to be so obscure all the while.  There are films that are obscure at points and I love, but those tend to use the lack of understanding as an opportunity to explain whether by exposition or actually showing me.  This movie on the other hand took the obscurity and rode the horse all the way home without caring what I thought of it.

It’s a film that I’ll probably never revisit because I know that if I need to sleep I can just count some sheep and I’ll eventually get there.

IMDB says 6.5/10

Rotten Tomatoes says 62%

I say 2.0/10

Mary (Brittany Murphy) is taking the morning off from work to take her boyfriend, Kevin (Dean Cain), to the hospital for surgery.  After a few hours of waiting in the lobby for him she realises that something has to be wrong.  She soon confronts some medical staff only to be told that her boyfriend is not in their system, the doctor he was coming to meet is on leave and there’s no one coming in for the kind of operation that she claims he was scheduled to do.  She’s left being accused of being insane and wondering who’s playing the sad joke on her.

Why are you reviewing this movie Andrew?  I guess the only reason is because I sat through it so that I could write my weekly DVD column over at The Film Stage, and it was so bad that if I don’t write about it I’m going to find even more reasons as to how much a waste of time the ninety-minutes I spent in front of the television yesterday was.

Brittany Murphy was never one of my favourite actresses, and I know it’s not good to speak ill of the dead but it’s true.  She never seemed to be anymore than a not so attractive version of every other blonde actress that shows up in romantic comedies every other weekend at the cinema.  She had that one part in Sin City which made me think that she could be okay, but she never at any point following that gave me much hope.  Cast alongside Dean Cain makes the movie even worse.  When one of my least favourite actresses, of my lifetime, turns in one of her less likeable performances and remains to be the best actress (or actor) in the film then you know you have a stinker on your hands.

The question that remains is if the movie is bad enough that it can be made entertaining thanks to the help of a few friends and some alcohol?  I think it might just be.  It has all the makings of a bad movie that’s so bad it becomes good.  It has: horrible acting, ridiculously cliché plot twists and some of the most stereotyped characters (I’m looking at you divorced police detective who ends up believing the girl in the end).  Sprinkle in a handful of lines so stupid that you believe you said it in a drunk message you left on your ex-girlfriend’s voice mail last night.

So in the end I’ll repeat myself.  Do not watch this movie without a minimum of two friend (preferably those who are good at making fun of movies) and five bottles of tequila.

IMDB says N/A

Rotten Tomatoes says N/A

I say 0/10 (I’ll allow it)

So over the last week Anomalous Material (a really awesome blog) had this great event where we all participated in The Hollywood Fantasy Draft (I’ll let you figure it out).  It was a blast.  I spent ten rounds picking and choosing who would fit a film that I’d love to see one day.  However, it’s time for me to take that film that I see everytime I close my eyes and explain it to everyone else on paper.  This is the final stage of the event – The Pitch.

So according to Anomalous Material’s rules my pitch should include the following:

• You should immediately develop the basic idea, the logline for your movie: The logline is one or two sentence that summarize the concept of your movie. For example: “Are you interested in a story about a man who lives in the Statue of Liberty?” (A real and successful logline)
• You should have a firm grasp of your main characters and their roles in the story
• You should be able to explain why so and so is going to play so and so
• You should begin to develop some basic outline or treatment for your story

So here goes… step by step.

The Logline

“It’s a movie where Evan, a psycho depressive girl, who’s just broken out of her hospital meets Andrew, an obsessive technology geek who thinks that he’s alone in the world because none of his business ideas ever work, and falls in love from the first time their eyes meet.  Yes it’s another indie romantic comedy, but it’s also a musical written and directed by Joss Whedon.”

The Characters

	Andrew Garfield is the young man who’s working in a mind numbing programming job with a big named technology corporation.  He has seemingly good thoughts everyday for how to make money but they always seem to fail because he never allows them to become full blown ideas.
	Donald Glover is Andrew’s best friend since College and he also happens to work with Andrew at this big named technology corporation as a sales representative.  Donald’s character is the people savvy individual who is always making quick gags at the stupid things that Andrew says and Andrew never quite gets the joke but doesn’t care.
	Oliver Platt will play Andrew’s father who is married to Olivia Williams. Platt is an alcoholic who never seems to pay his son any mind.  After years of working in a car factory, that is no longer alive, he sees his sons work and dreams as silly and not worth much.
	Olivia Williams is the overly loving mother that Andrew needed throughout his childhood since his dad was always out late drinking.  She’s a bit too constricting at times, which is why he decided to be on his own so early in life (having moved out on his own at the age of 18).  She’s also an enthusiastic horticulturalist.
	Evan Rachel Wood, after watching a homeless man kills himself, has a nervous breakdown and is admitted to a psychiatric hospital.  After having been diagnosed with a horrible depression she’s then forced to have been kept in the hospital against her will.  She then breaks out and meets Andrew in the middle of the night after escaping the hospital.  Her mental issues go past the regular breakdown and when she has conversations with everyone she sees everyone singing and dancing as if everyone’s in a Broadway musical.
	Felicia Day is Evan’s friend since they were five-years-old and Evan’s family moved into the house beside her.  She’s the likeable quiet girl who believes that everyone wants to do well.
	Neil Patrick Harris is Felicia’s husband who sleeps around.  He’s a famed neurologist who’s completed numerous ‘impossible’ surgeries.  Towards the end of the second act his wife guilts him into fixing Evan’s head and her problem after she finds out about his infidelities.
	Max Records is Neil and Felicia’s 11-year-old son.  He’s is a cool scheming child that’s always getting into trouble at school but is also a brilliant con man (I wonder where I got this from?) and a believer in people who do what they are.
	Sharto Copley plays the role of the Greg.  Greg is a homeless man who roams around the park that is opposite building that Andrew works in.  Greg and Andrew have become friends of sorts and Andrew tends to spend his lunch hour outside in the park and he eats with Greg every afternoon.  Greg claims to be a famed writer who got cleaned out by his wife but Andrew never seems to find any confirmation of this story.  Andrew and Donald think that the man is a small level of crazy, but harmless.  Greg will have a ridiculously large beard, and play the role of the wise man who gives Andrew advice through the film.

The Outline

Notes: This is a basic outline and it deals with the main plotline with 1/2 extra side threads that I haven’t fully thought out.  I want this movie because I love rom/com musicals and I can’t wait to see more Joss Whedon musicals.  If that’s what you want you may think the plot below is weak, but with Joss Whedon is attached the couple action-like scenes that I have planned and the musical side will be awesome.  I also would like to claim that with Whedon helming the film I expect to see Nathan Fillion, Anthony Head, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Alan Tudyk all make a cameo just for fun in the film.

Themes:

1. Love unconditionally: Through the characters of Felicia and Neil we see how no matter how strange things can get in a relationship when you are in love you try to make it work and you love someone unconditionally.  I’m not condoning infidelity, but in the case of Neil we (as well as Felicia) see that this characteristic isn’t something that came about just because she was there, it’s something that was always embedded in his character and it’s not anything about her, which is why in the end she begins to understand and starts to play into it with the relationship.
2. Intelligence out of school: With the character of Max who’s so much more mature than his age and is someone who understands people a lot more than you would expect someone of his age.  With him we see how a school book isn’t the only way to be smart.  We also see this in the character of Donald who actually flunked out of school which is why he’s a sales rep rather than a techie like Andrew.
3. Believing in yourself: With Andrew constantly doubting his ideas and never seeing his concepts to their full potential he never seems to get them right and why he never succeeds. 

Prologue: Here we see Evan have her mental breakdown after seeing this homeless man kill himself and being put into the psychiatric hospital.

Act One: We open with getting to know Andrew at work and his life, including where his friend Donald fits into his life.  We see a cool actiony scene where Evan breaks out of the hospital cut together with Andrew on his way home from work and it eventually hits the point where they cross paths and immediately ‘fall in love’ <insert song>. During the rest of this act Andrew spends his time finding out who Evan is and getting to know her and getting close to her.  Evan’s friend, Felicia, spends her time trying to help her friend after knowing she should get her back to the hospital.  The act ends with Evan and Andrew actually starting to be in a relationship.

Act Two: We open with Andrew finally finding out about all of Evan’s mental issues.  He begins to start pushing for her to go to doctors, who she doesn’t trust anymore after her experience at the hospital, to try and fix this.  With all characters starting to intermingle we see things like Neil start talking to Andrew and Donald about his conquests and things like his willingness to share his playbook of how nail chicks and not get caught by the misses. We see things like Donald and Neil start to be best of friends and starting to kick it off, and Max and Andrew doing good together after Max tries to con him into doing something stupid.

Act Three: We open with Neil talk about all the risks of what he has to do to fix Evan.  After a long argument Evan goes out and doesn’t come back.  We then deal with a sequence where the police and everyone go out to find her.  The movie ends with Evan being found and Andrew and Evan ending in love.  She makes a comment about how horrible a singer she thought Andrew was.

Epilogue: Neil and Felicia resolve their issues with Neil’s infidelity and they start looking for extra partners and we see Donald using Neil’s plays in a bar and all.

So I guess the final question is would you like to see this movie?

Here’s a new feature that will be as random as it’s title.  It won’t be weekly, it will be used as needed.  These articles will just be me rambling on about something in the world of film; sometimes it will be a specific movie or a topic I just thought of and felt like giving you my unprocessed feelings/thoughts on it.  So sit back and enjoy.

This past week I found myself lazing around – as I usually am – and watching some television.  Flicking through the movie channels, since there really is never anything good on any of the other ones at this time of day, I found one of my all-time greatest action movies just starting, and that movie is called The Rock.

The movie was released 1996.  At this time I was at the ripe age of 10-years-old.  This, I believe, is the prime age for the enjoyment of any Michael Bay film.  In recent years I’ve seen his films like Transformers: The Revenge of the Fallen and lambasted it for it’s complete waste of time.  However, looking back on his earlier film – The Rock – I realise that I Bay hasn’t really changed much over the years.  With a movie that I tout, with some sarcasm tucked away in my speech, as The Greatest Action Movie of All Time I found myself finding more and more flaws with every frame and at the same time loving it.  It’s a wonder as to how much nostalgia can affect your perspective on a movie.

There are problems so obvious as to how horribly edited the famous Humvee vs. Ferrari scene in the film to watching scenes as stupid as Michael Beihn (who I did not remember was in this movie) giving a really stupid speech about a soldiers duty when he’s obviously about to get himself as well as all of his men killed.  There are so many moments in the movie when the dialogue, like most Michael Bay and over the top action films made in a America, just oozes this I’m American and this is why we rock mentality which is a thing that I find pretty annoying sometimes when I’m watching a movie.  Now I know, the film is an American film made mostly for Americans, but really can you all stop wanking yourselves off so much.  We know you’re proud – like any other country – but that should be embedded in the characters a lot more than explained constantly in the dialogue.

The truth of the matter is what this movie has going for it is the awesomeness of Sean Connery, Ed Harris, Steve Harris, John C. McGinley and Tony Todd. I felt like each part of the Marines that were engaged in the siege at The Rock each had their moment(s) to shine with a line or two and each time, while usually laughable, were just classic.  From I’d take pleasure in gutting you bwoy to I don’t listen to soft ass shit I was eating it up.

Anyways I think I’ve run out of things to say, so this is the end of this installment of my Random Thoughts, make sure to let me know what you think of them (and the film The Rock) in the comments below.

This week in a theatre near me (I hope):

Eat Pray Love

Directed by: Ryan Murphy

Written by: Ryan Murphy, Jennifer Salt & Elizabeth Gilbert

Starring: Julia Roberts, Billy Crudup, Viloa Davis, James Franco & Javier Bardem

Synopsis: While trying to get pregnant, a happily married woman realizes her life needs to go in a different direction, and after a painful divorce, she takes off on a round-the-world journey. Based on the memoir by Elizabeth Gilbert.

Trailer:

My Thoughts? I’m not going to knock this movie. It looks sappy and inspirational, but those are things that I can get to love if it’s done right. I’m not interested enough to head out to the theatre to go see it, but I do believe that when it hits DVD I’ll definitely be checking it out. Also, I’m secretly a bit tired of Julia Roberts, I just think that she’s overrated and does too many films where it feels like I’m watching her on screen rather than the character that was once on the page.  This isn’t always a bad thing, but at times can get in the way while watching a movie.

Lottery Ticket

Directed by: Erik White

Written by: Abdul Williams & Erik White

Starring: Bow Wow, Brandon T. Jackson, Ice Cube, Keith David, Terry Crews, Mike Epps, Bill Bellamy & Loretta Devine

Synopsis: Kevin Carson is a young man living in the projects who has to survive a three-day weekend after his opportunistic neighbors find out he’s holding a winning lottery ticket worth $370 million.

Trailer:

My Thoughts? This movie looks bad.  It looks bad like all the other overly stereotypical black comedies in Hollywood look bad. Sometimes I hope that more filmmakers would make actually ‘all-black’ films – including comedies – good.  What ever happened to the days of films like Friday? Or is it that now that I’m older I am looking at the progression of what Ice Cube started then and realizing it wasn’t that good to begin with?  Basically this is definitely a skip with no regrets.

Piranha 3D

Directed by: Alexandre Aja

Written by: Pete Goldfinger & Josh Stolberg

Starring: Richard Dreyfuss, Ving Rhames, Elisabeth Shue, Christopher Lloyd & Adam Scott.

Synopsis: After a sudden underwater tremor sets free scores of the prehistoric man-eating fish, an unlikely group of strangers must band together to stop themselves from becoming fish food for the area’s new razor-toothed residents.

Trailer:

My Thoughts? The movie looks like a fun film that will have more than enough jump scares with ridiculously over the top poping in my face 3D that I’ll enjoy it.  Including Doc Brown (Christopher Lloyd) playing the role of some piranha expert and Ving Rhames continuing to be the big gruff black man on screen I’m totally sold.  I even like how it decides to play off the Jaws reference that the film is with what seems to be an interesting Richard Dreyfuss cameo.  Added note for those of you out there who’ve gotten burnt by films like Clash of the Titans, Alice in Wonderland and The Last Airbender; this film was shot for 3D and not converted, so I expect the 3D effects to be fantastic.

This week on the podcast Douglas and I decide to discuss the world of Danish Animation as we review Princess.  We’re also joined by podcasting expert Merrill Barr.  Check out the show below:

Guest: Merrill Barr: from MerrillBarr.com FilmSchoolRejects.com FatGuysatTheMovies.com and Twitter

What We Watched

Merrill (00:02:40) : Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, The Sons of Anarchy, Flashpoint
Douglas (00:15:34) : Youth in Revolt, The Usual Suspects, Guys and Dolls, Sherlock, The Pillars of the Earth
Andrew (00:29:30): Lost Highway, The Good Heart, Delirious

Trailers (00:38:36): A Woman A Gun and A Noodle Shop, The Romantics, The Next Three Days

Review (01:05:43): Princess (2006)

Discussion (01:22:20): How Much Do Critics Matter to You?

Additional Notes:

/Filmcast Ep. 109 – Inception – Guest: Armond White

/Filmcast After Dark Ep. 109 (Guest Armond White) – The State of Film Criticism

Armond White’s Review of Inception