The Decaffeination Report Takes On The Blues Brothers

The Decaffeination Report

I just googled “decaffeination report” and found no mention of this series of articles. Shameful, I thought. It had made another dreadful mistake. Then a dark realization worked itself from the back of my mind up to its front, though try I did to push it right back. A “series” of articles implies that a number of regular publications have been made under the same moniker over a period of time. In an attempt to completely rubbish this outrageous theory that somehow infiltrated my mind I have decided to increase the number of articles in this long standing series (yes, if you missed it the thrilling first instalment it is a must read) to an awe inspiring 2.

Today's report will focus on a well loved, certainly by the leader of this web rag, and highly praised film that has become a staple and quite possibly even a favourite of many – The Blues Brothers.

Some time during late 2003 to early 2004 I was first able to watch this movie. After the first half an hour sleep overtook me, leaving a feeling that despite its shaky beginning this movie could win me over. Unfortunately, this was not to be. In preparation for this report, I decided to take a more disciplined approach than my last and kept a note pad by my side throughout. Here are the first few entries.

  • Juno's on TV. I could be watching a funny movie right now.
  • Why did Dan Aykroyd just introduce this movie? It wasn't a joke, so did he think I didn't realize what DVD I picked up at the store?
  • After watching the whole movie, the “laugh log” idea must be scrapped. Only one entry: “After doing his bid at Joliet, Jake is returned a soiled prophylactic. That's worth a giggle.”

And so I began what was to be the second report with a pen in one hand and a hot cup of tea in the other (a man cannot live by the bean alone, and there's nothing wrong with a good cup of rooibos). The brothers' reunion, though heart warming it may have been, produced nothing in the way of humour or entertainment. Then entered the Penguin – a supernatural woman who Jesus decided to take as one of his many concubines. Apparently she sends them on a mission from God that involves James Brown, a neon blue light and a band.

From this moment on, the Brothers are no longer simply brothers; they are heaven sent recruiters on a mission from a penguin. Somehow a heavy artillery toting, spurned ex-lover who looks as if she might pass for foreign royalty gets involved. After explosions, car chases, some crashes and one broken standard issue police watch, their mission is complete and the penguin is appeased.

The question this film asks of us is whether two monochromatic men in sunglasses and a soundtrack filled with the only entertaining portions of its script make a good movie. Thorough investigation suggests otherwise.

  • http://www.gumdiseasesymptoms.org Elizabeth King

    Dan Aykroyd is a classical comedian, i love Coneheads movie,,*

  • http://www.twitter.com/djrlosthisname/ Douglas

    I liked that one too when it came out. I wonder, though, if I still would if I saw it again.

  • http://twitter.com/TheSilvaSpoon The Silva Spoon

    Love Dan Aykroyd and Rooibos tea